Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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