What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
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Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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