maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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