dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
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You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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