And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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