Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize