Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
that is very illegal...i love you.
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