My first STD was from a foam party
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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