it hurts more in the daytime
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
send nudes
from the living room?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize