We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize