1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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