My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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