the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We are all done wearing pants today
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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