What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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