There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
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Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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