she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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