dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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