i think my tv is drunk
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize