anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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