Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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