you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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