I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize