yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize