apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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