yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
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I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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