My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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