life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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