Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize