there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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