I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We need a shit load of segways right now
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize