Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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