Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
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She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
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Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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