I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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