I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize