nut hugger
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I am one with the molecules
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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