I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize