Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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