I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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