Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize