They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wish I only lived at night.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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