There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm really busy with my period
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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