That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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