im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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