Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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