i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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