Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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