i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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