I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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