i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
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So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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