you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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